OkCupid User:  Mr_Peanut_
91 / M / Bisexual / Single
Preston on Wye, United Kingdom

My self-summary
Listen here, you pathetical nits. I am looking for a wanton woman to satisfy my most vile, fornicative urges. I am only looking for a woman of beauty. You toad-faced porkers need not apply.

What I’m doing with my life
I am the spokesperson for a salty snack food that I technically am. My greed blinds me from the unsettling nature of this career.

I’m really good at
Cane tricks, leaning, tipping my hat.

The first things people usually notice about me
Tophat
Monocle
Gloves
Cane
Shoes

The six things I could never do without
Tophat
Monocle
Gloves
Cane
Shoes
…Monocle string?

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Cornering each of my loathsome enemies on a dark street, choking them, beating them with my cane and leaving them to die in the streets.

On a typical Friday night I am
Drowning in both drink and melancholy.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Humans disgust me. You are all nothing but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. Simply vile creatures, all of you.

I’m looking for

• Girls who like guys
• Ages 52-100
• Near me
• For casual sex

You should message me if
You do not have scurvy.