OkCupid User: Namaste-Yall
44 • F • Eads, TN

My self-summary
I love fun and life and YEA I’m divorced but I am definitely not damaged goods!! I am a Yoga Instructor in Eads, and while I may have a *checkered* past I’m still a sweet tea drinkin’, church on Sunday southern gal…My ex-husband was a musician and truly broke my heart…His name is Dale Spalding–search him on the internet he played with Canned Heat!!

What I’m doing with my life
Currently looking for someone who will *rock my gypsy soul* to quote Van the man!! I’ve made a commitment to personal growth after the incidents; understanding reality as a concept…I work as an office receptionist for a furniture company that I won’t mention by name but it rhymes with Flaymour and Ranigan :)

The first things people usually notice about me
I have a funky style and unfortunately, a bit of an odor and sometimes I *see* things.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Spanish guitar, instrumental, rock and roll…I love Van Morrison and Jackson Browne and a big fan of Canned Heat…I used to date a member of the band!! I love poetry and studying the mystics…I read the Dalai Lama…and books on spirituality and Sanskrit and Tamil literature, which got me into a little bit of trouble…I am a vegetarian after THAT incident…I have SERIOUS gas issues…I like Ted Talks and travel to TedX events often but I would love a traveling partner..The Power of the Subconscious, books by Wayne Dyer, one of my favorite books is by Gabrielle Marquez, 100 Years of Solitude – magic realism definitely speaks to me…What Dreams May Come is my favorite film of all time.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
A young border collie by the name of Dakota who died two years ago! Rest in peace, Dakota! Mommy misses you!

On a typical Friday night I am
Doing yoga, reading, staying out at a bar til it closes, listening to music at home, crying, clearing my subconscious of all the negative thoughts through affirmation!!

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m a little quirky (but genuine), and my feet absolutely stink! Sometimes I stink up the yoga studio with my smelly feet and also my gas.

I should also mention that I’m still in love with Dale SORRY!! He is with another woman but she is so wretched and wrong for him I know it won’t last…I trust karma and try to be a good person but when I think about that tramp with the man I am MEANT to be with, I get the visions.

I guess I’ll go into more detail about how Dakota died…Two years ago, about when Dale left me, I was suicidal (too much to get into) and reading about Dhenuka, a hindu demon that terrorized Krishna and Bala-rama and ATE people if you know anything about Hindu mythology…Paired with the psychedelic drugs I was abusing then, I was CONVINCED that Dakota had turned into Dhenuka so I shot her in the brain with a gun…then I set her on fire…I was being careless. I practiced Shava sadhana immediately after I regained my consciousness and I regret it every day.

I should probably explain why I was suicidal…The loss of Dale from my life was too much to handle…I would get very jealous when he would go on tour…He actually played guitar with Canned Heat, if you can believe that! When he would leave I would often follow him, because I was convinced he was having affairs. In hindsight I know he was being faithful but one night the jealousy consumed me and I went to their hotel in Pennsylvania and made some very *specific* premeditated threats, mentioning his bandmates’ children and grandchildren by name…and school…the authorities got involved…Dale didn’t press charges but did seek a restraining order which just made my life a prison…I ended up getting arrested after taking too much mescaline, entering the Kansas City Fairgrounds that Dale was performing at with CH, breaking my restraining order and putting a lot of people in danger with a gun.

It would be deceptive to say I used to abuse psychedelic drugs because while writing this I am currently on Tibetan finger hash and magic mushrooms and peyote and some ecstasy that I stole from my niece’s purse at a family reunion and a little crystal meth and cocaine from a party and pills I stole from touring open houses and heroin.

You should know I am a very private person and keep things to myself but I’m working on being more honest but if that above scares you just know it’s the tip of the fucking iceberg.

I’m looking for

• Guys who like girls
• Ages 25–58
• Near me
• Who are single
• For casual sex

You should message me if

You are as funny as Robin Williams and don’t have any baggage.

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